A lot of us are fickle friends to our optimism. It’s easy to relish the brighter side of things when everything is going your way. But on those other days — your car breaks down, your kid is sick (again) — finding a silver lining can feel futile.
Regardless of your situation, optimism can come in handy, says behavioral scientist and psychologist Deepika Chopra, author of The Power of Real Optimism, published in March. Unlike pessimism, whose evolutionary purpose was to help humans survive by constantly imagining worst-case scenarios, optimism can be more helpful in solving problems in our modern world, Chopra says.
“Optimism is what we need to stay engaged and keep deeply caring,” especially during hard times, she says. It keeps us “deeply rooted in reality, but at the same time, holds space for hope.”
And the best part is that anyone can train to see the glass as half-full, Chopra says. “Optimism is a muscle. We just have to work it out.”
The quiz: How optimistic are you?
The first step in honing this mindset is figuring out your starting point, Chopra says. For her book, she created a quiz, inspired by a questionnaire developed by psychologist Martin Seligman, to give readers a general sense of their optimism.
Take the quiz to see where you land on the spectrum, then use the tips below to become more optimistic.
3 ways to become a more optimistic person
If your quiz score surprises you, don’t worry. Whether you lean optimistic or pessimistic, there are exercises you can do to build more sunshine into your life. Chopra shares three evidence-backed strategies.
Make a daily “ta-da list”
Self-gratitude helps build optimism — if you believe in yourself, it’s easier to imagine greater success in the future. A “ta-da list” is a daily record of accomplishments, no matter how big or small. Include tasks you crossed off — launching a big project or doing the laundry — and less tangible wins, like drinking enough water or setting a successful boundary at work.
“By reminding yourself of all the things you do to make your life better, you can draw strength for the future and build a more optimistic outlook,” Chopra writes.
Schedule “worry time”
The human brain is future-oriented, which means we tend to worry about what might happen, including unlikely or unpreventable scenarios. Those worries can eclipse our vision of the future, causing us to focus mostly on bad possibilities.
To avoid being overwhelmed, Chopra recommends scheduling “worry time,” an exercise used in clinical psychology that helps people get comfortable with uncertainty and become better at generating solutions. Find 15 minutes when you have energy and won’t be distracted. Choose a place you don’t normally associate with relaxation, like an office or coffee shop — not your bedroom.
Throughout the day, jot down recurring worries. During your designated worry time, go through the list and ask whether you can control or change each worry. If you can’t, practice letting it go. An important part of optimism is feeling you have some ability to take action for a better future.
Practice daily affirmations with the 7/10 rule
Affirmations have been shown to reduce stress and boost optimism. The idea is that feeling more positive about yourself makes it easier to believe in a better future for you. But if you choose affirmations you don’t actually believe, they can be ineffective or even make you feel worse.
Chopra recommends the “7/10 rule” for affirmations: pick a statement you’re at least 70% confident in, not something you only believe 1/10 or 3/10. Then work toward the idea you hope to fully believe.
For example, if you have your dream job but struggle with impostor syndrome, instead of saying, “I am the very best in my field,” start with, “I’m a hard worker who adds value to my team.” Repeat positive, specific affirmations daily. Over time, your brain will seek confirming evidence and a belief that felt 7/10 can become 10/10. Then build new affirmations from there.
When you shift from thinking negatively about yourself to believing you are capable and worthy, it’s easier to feel hopeful about where you’re headed.
This story was edited by Malaka Gharib. We’d love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at [email protected].
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